The Restless Heart ❤️

I read Confessions by Augustine back in college and was deeply impacted not only by the writing itself, but by a talented professor who brought to life what would become my favorite quote ever:

"Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee." - Augustine of Hippo, Confessions

It wasn't only the impact of these powerful words themselves, how deeply they resonated, or how my professor had us listen to the U2 classic, "I Still Haven't Found what I"m looking For" in tandem with the reading. It was the the wonder that filled me knowing another human on this planet, who wrote these words more than one-thousand years ago, who had never met me, could describe my exact feelings about working for God and ministry.

I have understood from an early age that my very creation, by God himself was unto himself and my life, a life that is for God. I read about Allan M. Tibbels of Sandtown Baltimore in the book People Get Ready: Twelve Jesus-Haunted Misfits, Malcontents, and Dreamers in Pursuit of Justice. Allan though gone to be with the Lord, led a life of service and ministry in Baltimore, despite enduring a tragic accident and becoming a quadriplegic at the age of 26 years old with a wife and kids to care for. The book says that Allan only imagined his life as a calling, a service on behalf of God. His very life, a service unto God for he knew he was made by God, for himself.

Reading about Allan was so inspiring because he was willing to serve God and serve those in need regardless of what it cost. His heart was restless! Restless because of injustice, restless because of poverty, restless because so many on the margins needed to be brought into the nucleus of God's love and grace. Allan lived out such an incredible calling and he did it no matter the cost.

This past weekend, my Pastor spoke to the leaders of our church and said "It is going to be challenging and that is okay, that means it is worth something."

Living out my life in ministry has cost me many things. I have tried at times to minimize the cost... to compromise... much to the detriment of my little restless heart. I am reminded today as I revisit the words of Augustine and re-read about the ministry of Allan, that the continued pursuit of living a life of service is exactly where I belong... and I am hopeful that one day, my heart will find rest when it is my time to join my Father in heaven.

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